My name is Eudora. I started this blog almost 10 years ago and wrote about a variety of things including lifestyle events, fashion, food and vacations. I’ve since revamped this site and what I want to focus on, which is life after loss.
My whole world was turned upside down on January 31, 2020, when my husband and I experienced incredible tragedy and loss. We said goodbye before saying hello to our 24 week old stillborn baby, Joen Eli. After this devastating loss, I was shattered, with no sense of direction in life. It was unbearable. I began writing and journaling to help me heal and remember Joen in the best way I knew how. Doing so has allowed me to open up and tell our story about perinatal loss, what it’s like to lose a baby almost 6 months into pregnancy and how to move through grief while continuing to live life. I know this experience means I will have to find a new normal and way to live, including making myself vulnerable by writing about a topic that most of society is not comfortable talking about – death. It’s how I will find healing and peace, how I will honour Joen’s memory and it’s how I’m able to think of him and smile instead of cry. This blog is a vehicle for me to express my thoughts, feelings and experiences in healthy and healing ways that allow me to stay connected to Joen. And if I’m able to reassure grieving parents that they’re not alone, inspire them to share their story with one more person, or simply encourage them to just keep going, then it’s worth every personal and vulnerable word I write.
I am still learning how to live with joy and sorrow, and I know our lives have changed forever without Joen in our arms, but I am hopeful for the future and what it holds for our little family. Joen has already moved people to tears and his story has inspired others to share their own story of loss. He’s made a lifetime of an impact without even taking his first breath.
That’s how mighty he is.